Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Holy Mother of ....

Ok...let's play a game. Imagine a brick wall. Maybe even a double lined, red brick wall. With a lot of cement slathered on between each brick. Man. A very fit girl ( girl can dream, right?) is trying her best to get the grip at the top of this wall and not slip slowly back down. As I imagine we all are. Just grab the damn brick on top...do it. Stupid wind comes and takes her down a notch. Ok. Do you have the visual in your head? Well. That wall is life and the person is me (so deep huh?) and the wind is life's surprises that show up every now and again and make your head spin. I had started another blog entry this morning but had a big gust of wind sweep through today and so, here I am with that side of things. My oldest had a health scare today. We are not out of the woods, but things are looking up. I don't know if it is my PTSD kicking in, but I do NOT handle those winds very well. I called Jeff to come home and he is like on his second day of kick starting his sales job. Ugh. But, I literally go weak and sling shot my brain ten steps down the road of the worst case scenerario. Ok, I need real talk here. Do you guys do this? Am I screwed up for life because I had a really awful, freak situation happen in my life and now I have to go back to that space when something happens unexpected? I HATE it about myself. And I try to be kind to my myself on these types of issues, but word to your mamma...it ain't good. Sweating, pacing, trying desperately to not speed up my breathing because then kicks in the anxiety attack. I mean bad, y'all. Where are you at here? Just me or you with me on some level. I need a gauge because I may need to seek out my "calm down Dr. friend" to work on my copping skills. So, moral of the story. I am whipped emotionally and I want to improve this about myself. Thanks for hearing me out and chiming in on how you cope with fast and sometimes scary news. Hint, hint:)

So, can we change the subject, please? My cute teacher friend, Ginger, texted me today and she stumbled across this blog! Say what?!I love it and even though my summer writing has dwindled, I couldn't love that more. Hey girl. Those precious babies keeping you busy over there?! I appreciate you reading this silly thing:)

Also, I need to catch you guys up on my surprise girls trip and my cute house that we FINALLY got moved in to. We have really put some time into creating a happy and simple space and I must say, I am feeling it. My friend Schubert keeps telling me that it is so me and I take that as such a compliment because my vision is coming to life. Jeff is throwing in his vision too, but somehow I keep winning that battle! Ha, poor man is stuck with me. Love you, honey.

But Soon, these happy little things will come out on here and hopefully with pictures.

Alright folks. Man, I need the sunshine to calm myself after a trying day, however this outlet has helped. You people are a bright spot and I love you for being here, even when I take time off to tend to children and move. Whew. Blog besties unite! Love.

Until next time.
-Jenn