R had his eighteen month check up yesterday and it was so amazing. He has jumped from like 60% percentile in height to 97th percent. I knew he had been growing, but he has been stretching out. I thought he was going through a regression bit with his sleeping, but the poor kid was probably having growing pains. Sweet bug has stretched out. He is of course 100% in weight and head size. My gentle giant that loves to cuddle to boot. The pediatrician is the long standing doctor with all my kids. We have been with him for almost eight years now. So, when all of this mess came about with our little guy, he was in the mix. He first diagnosed him with hydrocephalus when I first took him in for his vomiting because his head literally swelled inches and inches. Oh, the stomach pains to reflect on that very first visit. Man, hold on tight because you are about to visit hell, Jenn. Let's just say I am good with not going back there too often.
I remember when he called me up at the hospital to check on R and I told him everything they have found with the x-rays, scans, and opthamology checks. His response was quiet and he said, " I will need to talk to someone to tell them that I have never suspected abuse." My heart dropped. And to this day, I still think he looks at me out of the corner of his eye to make sure things are safe for my kids. Jeff says I am paranoid, but we had a lot of people treat us as though we were guilty during our initial hospital stay, and I always thought he might wonder. I have shown him all the paperwork that has cleared Jeff and I, but I hate that I still feel under the microscope. He is very nice and thorough and has never done anything to show for these thoughts, but just a feeling. (*Me vs. My Mind)
Anyways, as we talked about all his screeners and accomplishments and he kept asking me if I had any concerns. I was in such a gleeful mood and I just kept shaking my head no. I didn't want to jinx it. And I am in this far enough to know that we might hit some road blocks, but for now we celebrate. In fact, to show how big time we are, we let the big kids pick a dinner location. Those two joyously shout out, "Subway" in unison. They were foaming at the mouth and so we go.to.Subway. Bless those baby big kid hearts. They are in this journey just as much as Jeff and I are. Til this day, they include his recovery in their prayers and fountain wishes.
When we see a wishing well fountain (i.e. Northpark Mall or the Arberetum), I give them each two pennies. They make a wish for themselves and one for another person. E and N always make a wish that their baby brother's head keeps getting better and he doesn't have to have anymore surgeries. They saw it first hand and don't really know much about it, but they saw him in a hospital bed hooked up to a lot of noisy machines followed by a few rounds of stitches after brain surgery. Enough to know that he wasn't okay for a while and stamp that image in their brains. I am not sure I appreciated their journey through all this as much as I should have. So... of course they need to take part in the healing portion of this journey. Tonight, we shall eat Subway for dinner to celebrate.
What do wish for when you wish for yourself and for someone else? Such a beautiful concept before tossing that shiny penny into the water. I will forever love hearing those big kids care for this baby brother because they are in the long haul together as a team. And he will be there for them as well. I just know it:)
Until next time, enjoy the sunshine😘
-Jenn
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