I Promised to Come Back...

Hi all. Well. I just reread that last entry and I poured my heart out on the screen, which is almost nice. I got to see such a vulnerable state I was in. Just a bad day. A sad day. However, as I went to bed I told Jeff that there is only one way to go and that is up. And sure enough, my swollen eyeballs came back down, my makeup was put back on the next morning, and this girl has come back to the bright side of things. I silenced all my mom groups that I had been added to and I peek in when I feel like it, on my own terms. That control is nice.

My conclusion in all this is that I literally thrive with a day by day philosophy and I have a hard time feeling too down when my girl is walking me to a local joint to eat lunch, shopping for winter clothes for her brothers, playing connect 4 on the couch and low and behold watching her play soccer with her brother and daddy. I mean. What else can I ask of her while on some added chemo every ten days? Her numbers are "As beautiful as Ellie", which is what her doctor said last week. So, today I choose to celebrate the good parts. I know there are days to be sad, which is part of being human, but I realized after every one of "those days", I am a wee bit stronger. A tiny, little bit.

SOOOOO, there is my better day post. I knew I had to because I feel more centered with a little of every emotion! Let's change the subject...please!!?! My middle son is busy at being five. He just wrapped up soccer and has picked karate. He is always punching pillows and flying through the air to roll, so I decided to channel his actions. My baby boy loves chapel and they all ride on the little buggy that holds six kids at a time. Oh my Lordy, it is precious. But, he is loving school and asks to go, go, go every morning. My sweety is settling into his new job and even made his bonus on this first round, which he was SURE he would not. I think that helped him feel like his hard work may seem trudging along as he learns the biz, but he will come out on the other side with a smile on his face and a love for what he does. The art of a challenge as a career is suiting him well:) I, on the other hand, have something up my sleeve for next year, but I am not going there just yet. We have a few mountains to climb with treatment and I want to focus on that first, but options are there!

OK guys. How are you? Are you still there? Give me a shout out so I can see life on this blog. I love to see you guys on the other side! Find the sunshine today and take a deep breath, and focus on the now. It is working for me and hopefully it will for you too!

Until Next Time-

Jenn