One Second at a Time...

Now that I opened this can of worms, I suppose I will keep going. Okay, my fellow friends, come gather around as the saga continues. Where were we?

Yes, in the ambulance and headed towards a hospital that could take the best care of my little 9 week old buddy. I was warned by the ambulance driver to prepare myself. That many different people were going to come at us and to just be as honest and ready as possible. My mind was a tornado, shuffling through what was going on vs. what happened vs. how vs. why, etc. and so forth. However. I must say how kind he was, the ambulance driver. I forced a few questions out and I feel like he could see right through me and just stated some hospital facts and sprinkled some kindness of us doing the right thing. I obviously was sucking up any positive moments to meet my emotional starvation and gloom. I think about that kind man now and again and feel grateful that he was our driver that day.

When we arrived, he wasn't lying. We must have been approached by ten different doctors of all sorts, asking us to retell our history, starting when the baby got sick. Jeff and I joked that we would take turns because it was so many times. Looking back, they did that on purpose. If you are not telling the truth, I imagine retelling your story would get shuffled and mixed up if you didn't have that concrete memory in your brain. So, of course, we matched up every time and things stayed exactly as they happened.

We then began the testing phase. X-rays, CT scans, measurements, blood samples. You name it, we did it all in about a 12 hour time frame. They couldn't decide where to place us in the hospital. Like, what area of focus. So, they started us off in trauma. This is the place where people are in car accidents, or something like that to cause trauma to your body. They wanted us to start there to see if he had any broken bones or issues from any other signs of abuse. (Gulp....that statement was hard to write)

He didn't. Although, his head size had grown from all the fluid and blood around the subdural portion of his brain. We had to watch for seizures and sun-setting. That is where the pressure on the brain causes the eyes to look down only. But, he was a bad ass little kid and could tolerate all the changes in his body. Can I give him a trophy for that? Maybe a certificate of toughness? I think so. Man, already a hero at such a young age. Lordy Mercy.

I suppose this is where the police and cps got involved. However, loyal friends. My stomach is in a knot. Tough entry on this mamma. SO, I will stop there and go find the sunshine. Today's sunshine may come with high wind and clouds, but for the love...I will get it in. :)

Until next time.

-Jenn