Here Comes the Law...

Hi! Welcome back. I have had to muster up some guts to start sharing this blog with the friends in my life. My first instinct is to bury this mess deep down and pretend it didn't happen. So, thank you for letting me share with you, out there. My audience of compassion, love, and unwavering support. (Insert mushy virtual hugs to all!)

Ok, are we ready to go on? So, as we were getting settled in our room. Jeff went to go pick up the big kids after school. They were terribly worried. They had not seen their mamma or their baby brother in 24 hours and that was scary for them. And rightfully so. He was going to bring them up to hug us all and to have a family meeting on the plan for the next few days. They like to be involved with the planning. It is a calming habit for us all. It felt like we were getting our ducks in a row. HA!

Before Jeff got back with the older kids, I had a drop in visit from a Dallas Police Officer. He was dressed in black slacks, a black polo and carried a black brief case. He got me out in the hallway table fast and with little chat. THANK GOD my wonderful friend Cortney had just happen to stop by to hold my strong baby and to be a touch stone for this intense night.
It was a coincidence, but I think the big guy upstairs knew I needed a person in my corner!

As all the nurses watched us and whispered to each other as we crossed the waiting area by the room. I was hot and my ears burned. I looked guilty to them. Which is just such a crazy thing to imagine, but they don't know me and I didn't know them. However, I didn't have too much time to feel. We started the interrogation. He was soft spoken and so kind. I know that sounds weird, but he just asked very direct questions and jotted down the answers as we went along. I was oddly calm because I knew I had nothing to hide. He took my phone and copied some text messages. And that's when two case workers from cps showed up. They just joined in. So, a round table included myself on one side, a detective on one side, and cps on the other. They were now typing my responses. Two hours later, we were done and Jeff just happened to show up with the big kids. They swooped him to the hallway table quickly. They didn't want us talking. Which is how I preferred it. We had had a plan of transparency and that is what sends a clear message in our situation, right?

I didn't cry one tear that night (shock had set in) until cps interviewed my kids to see if they were safe at home. I couldn't be there in the interview, but I stood across the room so my babies could see me and know they were okay. But, the ladies were very nice and talked to kids in such a light way. They are trained to do this and I knew they would be fine. Heck, they thought it was fun. Most importantly, they shined with manners, kindness, and love. The message was loud and clear that these kids had a good home.

I went back to the room to see my sleeping baby and Jeff left to take the big kids home and spend the night with them to snuggle and love on them. I heard a faint knock was on the hospital door. The cps case worker in training (who I am not kidding looked 15) had tears in her eyes. She said they talked to their director and they were fighting for us. I literally dropped to my knees. I knew what was coming. They told me the kids were going to have to removed from our home.
(STOP the presses. You know that mamma bear that lies quietly until woken up to fight a battle? Well, it is all true. Fight or flight. This bear took on FIGHT mode. I just had to give you feel of the room at this time. Carry on!)

And granted these case workers were on our side, but I flipped my fuc&ing lid. (I had to cuss to give you my level of crazy!) SO, at 10 p.m., we came to a deal to have someone live with us and watch Jeff and I with the kids. Which is so wild and crazy, but ok. They can stay with us. OK. At 11:00 p.m., the case worker met my mom and I (Jeff was shipped back to the hospital) at the house to do a surprise house visit to make sure our home was good for all the kids to live in. She was sold on us when she saw a Christmas tree with presents, baby locks on the cabinets, a bed for every person, working lights, food in the fridge. Stuff we take for granted were every sign that we were a great family that made sure our people were safe. But, we had to prove it to the director. Until then, we had my mom or brother come live with us for the next fifty nine days. We had to figure out how to work our way up the system, which is not as easy as it sounds. (Insert vomit emoji)

So, our next two months were getting the baby through surgery to drain the fluid off of his brain, a full blown investigation with DPS on who hurt him, and a side gig with cps to prove ourselves as safe parents. Can you even? I wonder some days how we made it. I guess that bear was working it out to keep up the fight.

OH MY WORD. I am mad just thinking about all this. It's okay bear, you can go back to sleep...this is just a bad nightmare at this point! Blah.

But on a different note. I need someone to follow this blog and someone to comment! I will feel so official! AND really I am not sure how everything works, so I just want to see it first hand!:) Thank you:)
I know you know that I need the sunshine stat after this hogwash. But, I have to admit it feels good to GET IT OUT! Mamma is getting lighter as we speak!

Let's do it again soon, okay?


-Jenn