Sweaty Truth...

This next part of the story is a doozy. The polygraph test was when I was hit with the swirling thoughts and confusion on how we were here. Did the show CSI get lost and hit us, because this is not us. However, it was us and it was so scary to think this was to fight for our kids to simply be in our care. One shot. I knew we were innocent, but I had one chance and Jeff had one chance to prove it. Straight up. CPS wanted a polygraph. DPS didn't want to waste precious time and money on us to give us a free polygraph because we were not high interest people in the case. CPS did not care. So, we had to hire a criminal lawyer to be able to attain a polygraph test from a nationally ranked institution. We wanted the best. Because CPS couldn't argue or back down on their side of the bargain of removing us from the case if we showed up with this solid piece of information, right? Well, that is where we were.

We walk in and pay our $1,800.00 to even do this. Apparently our polygrapher is on demand from many government needs, as well as personal folks like ourselves. Our lawyer worked her magic and we were in within a few days. He (The polygrapher) is a man that holds the room when he walks in. A cigar in his mouth (unlit of course), a bold and deep voice, and a presence that made me sweat on sight. I knew he was business. And here I was in a sweater, a lime green scarf, and knee boots. I just felt like I could have melted in the floor. We first had to answer a questionnaire and I did not mark something correctly and he said, "FOCUS" and, "SPEAK UP". I used all caps because he wasn't trying to be my friend. He wanted answers. We started by talking about my job and what I did in education. He was watching me. Watching my eyes, my body language, if I tilted my head to think. This lasted about an hour. The next hour was me retelling  my story about the baby as he typed it down. We went through every detail. I had dropped off the medical records earlier in the day so he could comb through those as well. He knew our story. I guess he is the best for a reason.

Moving on, I went for a restroom break and found a quiet nook in the corner of the bathroom to strike some yoga poses and TRY to find my center, because when I went back...it was showtime. I sit down and the chair faced a wall and a cabinet. It was an old office chair that looked about twenty years old and looked like it had stories to tell. He put the stretchy wires across my chest, my stomach, my finger, and I was sitting on a pad that picked up information too! These wires were looking for pulse, movement in my pulse and the blood pressure machine was hooked up to my arm. NOW, here is the interesting part. I have to tell the truth on certain questions, such as, "You live in Texas", "You are sitting in a chair", and "Today is Tuesday". Easy enough, right? Then he would throw some questions at me that I had to picture the correct image in my head, and lie about it out loud. For example, he asked me about a time I had done something at work that I didn't want my principal to know about. In my head I had to think about a time I snuck in the back door to get to my room without having to face my trusty leader. (Sorry Mrs. Swann if you are reading this!!!) So, as I am picturing myself sneaking in the door, I would have to answer "No" in the lie detector test. There were about 3 types of questions like this. The computer could tell if my mind was focused or wandering. Meaning, I wasn't picturing my truth in my head. If it picked up on that, I would cancel out the test and it would be invalid. Yes. invalid.

Sprinkled in all these questions about nonsense were some about asking if I hurt my baby, seeing my baby get hurt, or if I knew about him being hurt. The brain is an amazing machine. After I was so used to seeing the truth in my head on the silly questions, I was so very clear on what was true and what was not in my FOCUSED brain. So, as he asked the questions about my knowing of the abuse, my head went blank. But, when I had to picture sneaking in late, I could see myself tiptoeing down the hallway. If you had a lie, this machine and this man would pick it up.

We began the test. I couldn't move or it would invalidate the test. The blood pressure cuff cut off my circulation and after the three minutes, my pinky was twitching apparently. He was NOT happy about that movement and said it counted against me. (?) He told me I better get it together and focus. So, on round 2 of the 3 tests, I did better. He said my mind wandered some, and to only think about my truths in my head. Well, with about thirty seconds of quiet between each question, you start to think about what is going on and such. Well, don't do that. The computer doesn't want small talk in your head. By round three. I think I had a near perfect test. I pulled it together and you get your score right there. I was at 98% of no deception, or telling the truth. He said my 178 heart rate was not in my corner and counted for the two percent. Ha. I mean, really. Some things you just can't help. He mentioned that the death row inmate that sat in the chair from the day before was crying like a little boy. So, I felt like a total bad ass. He reads people for a living and said he knew I didn't do it after talking to me for a bit. He also added that he went easy on me because I was trying so hard. Lordy Mercy on Heaven's Gate, can you even? He might have killed me with too much more.

Jeff was next and he completed 99% of no deception on his test. His one percent was with a wandering issue on the first test. DON"T WANDER JEFF:)

 So there you have it. I felt so justified because we had many people doubt that this could have happened, and all we could say was that it had. At least we had some strong evidence that we had been seeking for months on end. We showed up to play and got the proof we needed to clear ourselves from CPS and the DPS on one sheet of paper.

Crazy huh? I will go get my little buddy and go on a walk to celebrate the sunshine and tests that can literally prove ones innocence. That test was what we needed to move on and I am so thankful for that.

See you soon::) Jenn