Maybe I Wasn't Done Yet...

After I thought I was done and got all my inner most thoughts out, I was left thinking about my reflections and the things that I know now from looking in the rear view mirror. Hindsight thinking always makes things so clear. So, my hindsight realization is to follow my gut instincts. I remember watching an Oprah episode, like ten years ago, based on gut instincts. It had a panel of women that got themselves out of danger by listening to their gut. It sounds so easy to do, but why do we sometimes ignore it and think with our minds only? I don't know why this episode stuck out so much, but these ladies said you have to practice shutting down your busy mind, and often your emotions for a second to follow what your insides already know. So, I have often attempted this method of being, but feel like life makes it too noisy to do so. I must say when I was at home preparing to go back to work with our baby, I had a gut feeling that something was't right with our setup. I don't think I ever said anything out loud because this is what we had set up. See? Hindsight is so clear on how dumb that sounds, but at the time it was what we were doing. I SO wish I had stopped to be quiet for a moment and so on and so forth, but it didn't happen. So many things could have run a different path. Sigh.
All I can think about now is moving forward and taking that twinge in my gut or feeling like something just isn't right to a new level of attention.

 In fact, we have an old car wash by our house and the big kids had done a number in the back seat of the car with some Cheetos. I was oddly by myself, so I did one of those stops that you do to try to squeeze in odd ball errands while you can! I made a stop by the vacuum area of this old car wash, sort of tucked away in a tree embedded area. As I was in the back of the car, with my booty hanging out of the door, I had a stomach punch. I am putting myself in a vulnerable place and one shove and I was in a car and nobody would have been the wiser. It is stupid that I can't vacuum my chip filled car without having these concerns, but I do because I have to. Needless to say, I listened to my gut, dropped that activated suction tube and left the scene. It could have been just fine, but something triggered a reaction and I listened to it. No questions asked. And I was so proud of myself. I think before, I would have just told myself I was being silly. So, that is where I am on that. I can't decide if it is still my anxiety on high alert or if this is just me taking the time to use my Spidy senses that I have had all along. Does this happen to you guys? Do you know what I am talking about?

I would love to hear about it if you do:) I am trying to figure out where my normalcy lies and where it does not. Well, that is a slippery slope, but you guys know what I mean! Ha! Until next time, meet me out in the sunshine!

-Jenn